Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Bypassing

The word ‘Bypass’ is used in various different contexts, all deriving from the basic idea of sidestepping something – an alternate way to route other than the main track. This blog covers in most likelihood the least discussed usage of ‘Bypass’. 


(Image from pixabay.com)

Practitioners of mindfulness are usually conversant with the term ‘Spiritual Bypassing’ which is the practice of using a spiritual band-aid of sorts to overlook and reach an unstable peace without resolving important emotional / ethical / development issues. In short – reaching peace with a poor paradigm. A sustained and open Mindfulness practice, however, should help recognise your bypasses, while overcoming them may still be difficult. And yet, being able to spot bypasses which we indulge in is no small achievement by itself. Quite possibly, this recognition coupled with some other spark can kick off significant lifestyle or behaviour changes, which are good for the self or communities at large. 

Over time, I have come to observe that bypasses are extremely common all over – at workplaces, media stories, communities etc. For instance, I read a management book sometime last year which had some advice for young professionals. One section discussed the need for young professionals to learn and build their capability quickly. The best option is a capable manager from whom you can learn, and is also nice – that is not always possible though. While there may be some lucky employees for whom this is possible, the others have to choose between the two: a capable manager (implied - a nasty person) or a nice manager, and the author went on to state that you are better off choosing the capable manager rather than the nice one. This book was evidently written by an author who had been in a leadership position (why don’t more regular employees write material on what a leader should be like, rather than leaders themselves?). I regard this as a very typical bypass indulged in by some people in management roles – “So what if I am nasty, you are still learning stuff when working with me..”. This cannot be an either or requirement; both are absolute prerequisites – only capable AND empathetic people should get to manage or lead. 

An open mind, deep self-enquiry and a keen sense of awareness are necessary to spot bypasses. There are a number of them most of us indulge in – many times without realising it. I regard the way we view and treat animals as one of the most widespread & painful, with a wide variety of bypasses being available – ‘it is the natural order’, ‘don’t curb my freedom’, ‘that is what animals are created for’, etc. 

Try sitting quietly and introspecting, if you can find the bypasses you indulge in. How many did you uncover? The extremes: 0 – Narcissist or a Guru, 100 – Too Self Critical or Messed Up (Unlikely).